If you are also concerned about fear of rejection and lack of self-confidence, read my short self-help manual, Beyond Fear of Rejection and Loneliness to Self-Confidence at
Levels of intimacy vary from no contact strangers to friends or lovers who are very similar in their most important-innermost parts of themselves, care greatly about each other; communicate in a completely free, open, and honest manner; are willing to make significant efforts or sacrifices for each other, and are in a long-term committed relationship.
If your partner doesn't have these beliefs and values, they will be less affected by your efforts, but they still may react positively because of the fact that it was a sign of caring. People who care about others, treat others well, and have good interpersonal skills will generally be more successful with others than people who don't.
People who are too aggressive, dominating, or distancing or people who are too passive, submissive, or dependent may generally have problems forming close relationships.
Jerry was 21, but had made only one friend in his life.
That "friend" was actually someone who had used him.
This continuum starts with strangers at the low end, then moves to casual friends, people who are close in only one or two specific areas, people who are close in many areas for a short time, and ends with those closest in many areas over a long time span.
They may be married, be close family members, or have an extremely close friendship.
Be friendly, give genuine compliments, be helpful and supportive, and show interest and listen effectively.
He used individual counseling, an assertion training group, and self-help books. More importantly, he was much happier with himself and his life. Most people I see don't start at such a low level and only want or need much less help.
If you think you have a long way to go, then it is helpful to know that others have gone even further.
Jerry was successful primarily because of his persistence and continual conscious effort to improve his skills and confidence. The focus of this self-help manual is to help you improve your conversational and intimacy skills.
I have counseled with and taught these skills to hundreds of people seeking ways of becoming more outgoing and assertive, more confident, and more able to develop close relationships with others-especially others in romantic situations.