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Being picky in dating

So people don't bother putting the effort in when they do meet them.

They know there is someone else waiting if it doesn't work out so why bother?

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It made me realize that the entire time we were busy being so picky about these superficial things that we thought were so important, we were actually settling for much less than our ideal when it came to the things that mattered. Like how good of a potential husband and father he would make one day down the road.It’s a tale as old as time, by millennial standards. “Dating is a two way thing,” explains dating expert James Preece.Boy meets girl, boy swipes right, girl also swipes right, deciding boy looks like Ryan Gosling. “It's OK to rule people out but why would Mr or Miss Right be interested in dating you in the first place?We knew we were being very picky, and felt that we deserved to be – after all, we were looking for a partner for life, so he had to be exactly what we wanted, right?So we always held out for our ideal - guys who were tall, dark and handsome, dressed very well, made a lot of money, drove expensive cars, and were extremely charming.You can't expect to date a supermodel if you aren't even taking care of yourself properly,” he notes.Indeed, focusing on aesthetics is a red flag, agrees dating specialist Jo Barnett: “When someone starts their list with a description of how they want their partner to look, I know they are being too picky.But these same guys also wouldn’t call us when they’d say they were going to, would stand us up and then have a dozen excuses for it, would call us up at the last minute to get together, would leave us hanging for days only to call later on their terms, and often wound up telling us that they were involved with someone else.Never mind that they would think nothing of the broken heart they would leave us with when they dropped us in a heartbeat as soon as someone they thought was better came along.The way I see it though, if I'm happy being single at the moment but open to the prospect of a relationship if the right person comes along, why should I settle for anything less than perfect?I do sometimes fear that this attitude may not be wise later in life though - I know no-one's perfect and I'm certainly not, but it's hard to make yourself settle when you think someone better might be just around the corner," she explained.

599 comments

  1. The Virtues of Being Picky. And then it's no longer about who I'm dating. the thing is, that if you're being really picky.

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